The funniest lines by teachers…

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April 1, 2011 by mistergag

Here you can read the funniest lines courtesy of teachers from other schools!

The most rigorous lessons in school. Everyone hardly passes the tests. On the last test in the semester half of the class had to rewrite. You can guess the marks they got. The teacher comes to class and says:

-I’m changing the way of rating you, because… I’m too tolerant.

 

 

 

 

The result: laughter in the whole class.

There is noise in the class. The teacher turns from the blackboard and says:

-I don’t tolerate stereo. I prefer mono.

 

 

 

 

The pupils are watching photos of the sculpture “David” on a screen. The teacher’s saying:

-Children, look! It’s art! Look! Expression, dynamism! Dynamism, expression! Note it! Expression, expression! Dynamism, dynamism, expression! – and says to one of the pupils: Child, why won’t you note it?

-I noted it.

-Oh…

Look of teacher: unspecified.

 

 

 

 

One pupil is wearing mittens in class and begins to clap. The teacher looks and says:

-Mittens? It is summer! I don’t know what you will put on during winter. A sheepskin coat?

 

 

 

 

Somebody is squealing during the lessons. Teacher’s note in register:

“Rebuke for making ultrasounds”.

 

 

 

 

A teacher asks a class:

-What is the value of the force the Earth enacts on a thing with a mass of 2 kilograms?

10 pupils is put their hand up

-And the rest? Do you understand it?

-Yes.

-Do you understand it?

-Yes.

-And do you understand it?

-Yyy… not too much.

-I will explain it for you. The Earth applies 10 N to anything with a mass of 1 kg. For 5 kg – 50 N. And now do you understand it?

-Yes.

-Because you asked me. But if you hadn’t asked me… when I would I explain it to you?

-After the lesson.

-But I’ve got my own things to do. I’ve got a family, children. I have to cook dinner!

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